You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
