i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize
