that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
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