i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
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