i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Randomize
