It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Damn victory sex feels great
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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