I think i peed on brittanys purse
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Randomize
