i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Randomize
