i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
