What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
