It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
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Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
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Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
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