we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
