I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize