so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Randomize