I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
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