her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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