i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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