God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Randomize
