as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
i believe in u and ur pee
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Randomize
