If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize
