lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Randomize
