Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
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