Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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