HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Randomize
