She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Randomize
