I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
