you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Randomize
