We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
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