hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
just tell him i said nine months
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Randomize
