Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
the room spins SO much faster in panama
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize