It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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