i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
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