the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
