Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Randomize
