Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
