Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
Randomize
