and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
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