There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
We smell like vodka and hangover
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