Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
my being single is dangerous.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
