i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
