omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Randomize
