My liver just broke up with me...
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
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