White coat. Heels.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
