Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
