"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Boobs are out for the taking
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize
