is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
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