he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
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