I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
