Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Randomize