This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
