She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
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