Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Randomize
