Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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