i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
