i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
