Texts From Last Night

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  (630): View more from Illinois

  just tell him i said nine months

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  (630): just tell him i said nine months http://tfl.nu/oqo8
  Replies (4) Good night (671) Bad night (3783)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way

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  (847): this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way http://tfl.nu/rl6u
  Replies (221) Good night (2562) Bad night (28486)
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  (770): View more from Georgia

  I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.

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  (770): I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter. http://tfl.nu/9rwz
  Replies (20) Good night (3650) Bad night (717)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...

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  (203): i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room... http://tfl.nu/dscd
  Replies (17) Good night (754) Bad night (8145)
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?

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  (314): I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!? http://tfl.nu/nh7f
  Replies (39) Good night (8377) Bad night (942)
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  (954): View more from Florida

  it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.

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  (954): it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic. http://tfl.nu/y5mn
  Replies (7) Good night (4375) Bad night (1033)
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  (417): View more from Missouri

  Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?

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  (417): Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"? http://tfl.nu/n06e
  Replies (16) Good night (6789) Bad night (1427)
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  (315): View more from New York

  mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?

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  (315): mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!? http://tfl.nu/d0je
  Replies (6) Good night (959) Bad night (2726)
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  (61): View more from Australia

  Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed

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  (61): Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed http://tfl.nu/qr9l
  Replies (10) Good night (4706) Bad night (985)
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex

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  (519): I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex http://tfl.nu/b3wh
  Replies (15) Good night (1159) Bad night (2439)
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden

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  (201): we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden http://tfl.nu/jtve
  Replies (4) Good night (987) Bad night (496)
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  (509): View more from Washington

  How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch

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  (509): How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch http://tfl.nu/j3z1
  Replies (7) Good night (827) Bad night (488)
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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.

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  (202): Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands. http://tfl.nu/8ssv
  Replies (10) Good night (1725) Bad night (461)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished

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  (630): Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished http://tfl.nu/r8cu
  Replies (14) Good night (1603) Bad night (624)
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  (206): View more from Washington

  Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.

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  (206): Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer. http://tfl.nu/p121
  Replies (0) Good night (334) Bad night (452)

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