I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm