hell yes lets make some ravioli
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Randomize
