Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
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