I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
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