We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize
