if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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