...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize