know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Randomize
