i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
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