i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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