yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Randomize
