At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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